I don’t write as much as I used to–for myself. That unexplainable fatigue returned. I feel more lazy and sadder this time.

I hate summers since time immemorial. With El Nino, the past few months were scorching hot. I frequently wake up in the early morning, sweating profusely, despite already being naked and the electric fan on the maximum. Work has been busy but definitely better. My knees though, are bad news. From running long distances, mountain climbing, which I only started in 2014-2015 and walking for several kilometers, which I was doing since elementary, the pain intensified by February this year. X-ray and MRI have shown some degenerative changes. If I didn’t manage my chondromalacia sooner, I’ll probably have osteoarthritis by 30. That’s in 3 years.

What was more alarming, however, were the bilateral lesions found on my femurs (thigh bones). Even the doctors were puzzled. They were almost an inch, found on the anterolateral sides of the bones. Non-ossifying fibromas (NOF) are common in children and adolescents, but rare in adults. NOF is usually classified as a benign tumor with latent activity. As of now, we can only monitor the fibromas and hope they don’t grow and become aggressive. However, I think it’s also contributing to the pain I feel on my knees, especially on the sides.

And him. I miss him so much. I really want to see him, even for just a few minutes.

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