Lord, I am sooo angry again. Why am I the only one who is always at fault?

I am very sensitive to pitch changes, once your voice starts to go an octave higher, I begin to get angry too and yell. Why can’t my mother even observe that? That’s why I hate staying at the house. Everything I do is wrong. Every damn little thing I do is WRONG. It’s always me who is the problem, me, me, ME.

They’re not even interested about my feelings and thoughts. It’s always about them, it’s always about THEM but I’m the one being called selfish.

Do they even know how hurt I am? Do they even know the amount of pain and anger I have at myself, at him, at them? Do they even try to understand me? NO. They’re not really interested in me. They’re just interested in what I can do for THEMSELVES, not what they can do for ME.

I HATE MYSELF RIGHT NOW, I REALLY DO. I WISH I WAS NEVER BORN. ALL I DO ARE MISTAKES. THERE IS NOTHING I CAN DO THAT IS RIGHT.

Staying at home when you’re 24 is a bad idea I promise you, especially when you have a family like mine. I just can’t take it anymore.

I HAVE SO MUCH HATRED AND ANGER AND BITTERNESS. I JUST WANT SOMEONE TO LISTEN AND UNDERSTAND. 😥

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2 thoughts on “

  1. Well, I don’t hate you. This may sound superficial, but if you weren’t born, I wouldn’t get to read your blog. It’s not your problems which make it so interesting, but rather your writing style. You do have potential, and it’s a shame your family doesn’t realize it. It’s times like these when you realize that family is no better than friends, and the same thing goes with assuming that friends are better than strangers. Honestly, life is pretty much complete when you find someone who cares about you and sees beauty in your flaws. Not to say that people won’t get annoyed from time to time, but respect goes a long way, and you don’t seem like you’re getting much from the people around you. 😦

    And I totally feel you about that guy. I’m kind of going through the whole unrequited thing myself.

    1. Thanks dear. I really appreciate your comments. Sometimes I really feel everything too much and hate how hypersensitive I am.

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