For the first time, you felt there was finally someone who feels the same way or apparently feels the same way, for you too. Apparently–because he never tells you directly how he feels. Like a spider, he spins cheesy, sometimes sugary, words to lure you, the idiotic fly, into his trap. He makes you hope and agonize at the same time–he makes you feel you are worth loving, yet he makes you feel worthless–yours is a love of contradictions.

Sleep becomes difficult; you toss and turn in your bed thinking of all the meanings behind those honeyed words. You wait and wait, patiently, longing for the time he confesses everything.

 But he doesn’t.

You finally grew tired of waiting.

You want to show him your true feelings, you want to tell him, yet you hesitate. You hesitate, because you are afraid of being betrayed again, because you have been betrayed by a countless number of people. People whom you cared, people whom you loved–people whom you have given your life and sacrificed your own happiness. But you were betrayed, betrayed by these people, every single time.

You have built walls to protect yourself from the tormenting pain of treachery yet he was able to take them down, brick by brick. Like a naked newborn, you have let yourself become vulnerable again.

To be betrayed by him, the man who has already stolen your mind, heart and soul, is unthinkable.

But you still hold on to that glimmer of hope that he might actually, truly, love you. It ironically gives you courage to tell him everything–your thoughts, your wishes, your dreams, your fears and apprehensions.

Then again, every time he shows reluctance, you back out, each time faster, and retreat behind your massive walls once again. 

 Time is already running out.

 Will you take the risk?

 Or will you choose to remain behind your decades’ worth of fortifications?

 What will you do?

 

 

 

 

 

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